原生女人｜當妳感覺自己真的累了......

「奶奶，我累了。光是活著，就讓我感到筋疲力盡⋯⋯」

「孩子，把妳的疲憊，像冬天的毛毯一樣包裹在身上。疲憊感會給妳建一個巢，就像讓你披上舒適的外衣，沉浸在溫暖的懷抱中。我邀請妳在自己的疲憊感裡面停留。不需要用力，不用多想，什麼都不用做。像雪花覆蓋一切讓世界柔軟，讓世界變得悄聲無息，保護世界免受噪音干擾一樣。接受自身的疲憊感，讓自己完全被它們覆蓋包裹住。」

「我可能會被它淹沒而死去⋯⋯」

「相反的，妳會重生。像地下的種子那樣。不要抵抗你妳疲憊感，不要用千百種行動、千百種意圖、千百種罪惡感來抗拒它。它只是想牽著妳的手，讓你沉浸在虛無之中。就在那個虛無裡，那就是妳內在力量的源頭。別人教我們藉由抵抗來變得強大，但唯有在臣服之中才能產生真正的英雄。」

「我害怕，奶奶。如果疲憊消滅了我怎麼辦？」

「孩子，妳不是害怕疲憊，而是害怕失去自我控制。現在是妳讓自己全然投入生命的時候了，妳和生命將一起孕育出最美妙的孩子：那就是妳靈魂所結出的果實！」

“Grandma, I’m tired. So tired of this life…”

“Take your tiredness, my child, and wrap it around yourself. Like a blanket in the cold winter months. Tiredness comes to make you a nest, to bring you to wear comfortable clothes, to make you sink into its warm embrace. I invite you to stay within yourself. Without strength, without thoughts, without actions. Like the snow that covers everything to soften the world, to make it muffled, to protect it from noise. Accept the flakes of your tiredness and let yourself be completely covered by them.”

“I could die buried under there…”

“You will be reborn instead. Like the seed in the ground. Do not resist your weariness, do not reject it with a thousand actions, a thousand intentions, a thousand feelings of guilt. It just wants to take you by the hand and lead you to sink into the void. Right there, where the source of every inner strength lies. They taught us to be strong by resisting. But it is in surrendering that the true heroes emerge.”

“I’m afraid, grandmother. What if fatigue will annihilate me?”

“My child, you are not afraid of tiredness but of losing control of yourself. The time has come for you to give yourself to life. And to generate together with it the most wonderful children: the fruits of your soul!”